Thursday, February 18, 2010 @ 2/18/2010 04:42:00 PM
Thinking deep
To my heart says. What is it haunting me? The time ticking so slow on the clock. The desperation of going to school? To meet friends, yes. Can't wait to flip all those subject books of mine that I've been abandoned them for a long time. Though for four months ain't long.
Is my optional right? I doubt it. Can't really bear the discussion in class anymore, for I couldn't bear any lecturing being spoken from my family members. I've been staying at home all day long. Not to mention just to online chatting to socialize or just facebooking or blogging. My english language are getting sour and salty. My brain's getting rusty. My knowledge are getting out of boundary.
Who is it to blame? Myself. Everyday I would just sit infront of the laptop screen. Don't know what to do yet so little time. Everynight I would lay on my bed, thinking deep of the past memories and the present too. For the future, I dare not to think much cause it'll end up out of my expectation as it always appear in my dictionary.
Why have life being so colourful to me? It is a yes, cause I got my lover by my side. I have nothing to fear of. Yet, I still wondering about my past tense and compare with the present. Why, is that very necessary? Maybe cause of insecure?
I got my family by my side too. They're on my side supporting me and giving hope to my ambition. I've been thinking lately about it. What should I've become? Since my pharmacist dream had been poofed into thin air due to the not-really-satisfying result. Should I? become a computer related job? Yet, there's millions of people in this world that are far wayy better than my computer knowledge and I'm still on the edge thinking that it's not very stable kind of job.
Every now and then, still on the edge, thinking, thinking, thinking. It's a never ending routine.
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